Back soon

I think we are officially packed and ready to meet the taxi that will pick us up tomorrow morning at 4.45 (eeek!). The start of what is sure to be a very long day on route to visit my sister in Ecuador. I hope that T is not too much trouble on the flight but we'll just have to wait and see how it goes I suppose. While we are over there we will be spending a week in the Galapagos and as someone with a zoology degree I can't quite explain how exciting this is.

This means my already infrequent posting is likely to be even more infrequent but I'll try and at least post a picture or two while I'm away.

In other news my period hasn't arrived yet but I'm reasonably sure we didn't do anything at an appropriate time so it'll probably show up tomorrow during the flight.

work and sick kids

So at the moment no-one is happy. T has been sick since the weekend, I've been juggling being home and working - including going in early mornings and evenings and so has S.

In the mean time my boss leaves for a conference on Saturday and I'm going on holiday next Saturday so we haven't seen each other much this week and after tomorrow we won't be seeing each other until November. This means that we are going to have to have a difficult talk tomorrow as she seems to be really annoyed with me. I know this is because she is worried about having results for the report that is due to our funding body in December but I'm doing what I can and I'm allowed to take a holiday. Currently I have no technical support so I'm doing all the work which means that I am the limiting factor when it comes to results and T keeps getting sick.

The problem is we don't have any family nearby so there is no-one else who can look after T when he's sick. On top of this I'm going down with whatever T has so I'm feeling shitty and feel like crying. Why can't my boss understand that I love my job and want to do it by I also love my son and if he's sick I or S need to be with him. It's not as if I can take T to work(which is acceptable here), a lab is not a safe place for a toddler. Or maybe I should have him in the ergo on my back while I do my experiments?

Insanity

I was still feeling weird - boobs hurting and slightly odd taste in my mouth. So I took another test and guess what - negative. Like it was going to be anything else. Hope never quite goes away does it?

In other news, I've booked flights to go and visit my sister in Ecuador next month and it looks like we'll be going to the Galapagos Islands too - I can't wait.

Things I'm angry about

1. Just fitting back into my skinny jeans and thinking that I soon wouldn't be able to anymore, and then realising that I will, at least for a while...
2. That I allowed myself to hope that this time we could have fun sex at more-or-less the right time, get a positive pregnancy test and bring home a live baby approximately nine months later
3. That I allowed myself to look at embryo development sites
4. That I worked out the due date and was excited at the idea that it was close to my birthday
5. That I was so worried about my boss's reaction
6. That this affects me so much and I'm being really crap at work
7. That I will (probably) be able to try the, apparently yummy, mango mojitos in Ecuador next month.
8. That I don't even know what to call this - chemical pregnancy? late period? miscarriage?

But mostly I'm just angry, and sad.

Why is it

That just after you go out and buy a new pair of tiny nail clippers because frankly the toddlers nails are turning into claws and he's about to take someone's eye out with them. The old pair turn up in exactly the place they should be where you have looked at least twenty times.