On breastfeeding

When I started this journey I assumed I would at least try to breastfeed but I had no real idea how long for. I expected to try and make the six months exclusive feeding but after that I was vague. I had some feelings about the fact that at some point I would feel that the baby/toddler was "too old" for breastfeeding and/or it would stop naturally. Having never really spent extended periods with babies I had no real picture of babies at different ages to be able to think when this might be.

So I was lucky and breastfeeding has gone really well and we're still doing it at 11 months. Honestly, I'd be happy for it to continue for a while yet. It's no longer something that I feel takes a lot of my time, it happens at bedtime, once during the night, when he wakes up and once or twice during the day. It's easy, gives him antibodies, the modern advice is to continue for a year and as long as both the mother and baby are happy. Honestly, it's also comforting and I think will be helpful to baby T as he transitions to daycare instead of being with me all day.

The problem is my husband, he is beginning to get uncomfortable with it and thinks I should stop. This is partly because of the casual way that baby T leans in to feed in the morning when we have brought him into our bed. Partly because he is starting to get "is she still feeding him" type comments. Also, quite frankly, he feels that it's about time he had my breasts to himself again and he says it's having an effect on our sex life. We've discussed it, both my reasons for continuing and his (frankly emotional) reaction to it and I think we're ok for now but it's going to keep coming up and I don't want to be pressured into something.

So any assvice?

Eyes

I've been meaning to do this ever since I saw Niobe's post, here is my eye:

and baby T's:

OK

So I'm a grumpy cow. I did get flowers and they're lovely I also got a card that S had written a really sweet message inside that was supposedly from T. It actually made me cry so maybe it was better late than never after all.

Thanks for all your lovely comments, I have been struggling lately. I feel like once again my life is on hold and I have to wait for an unknown length of time. Part of it is that it will soon be a year since I went on maternity leave - a whole year since I last worked and frankly my self confidence is very low. It's very hard to apply for jobs when you are not confident in your abilities. Especially since the chances are I'm going to need to work in a different field so I need to convince them that I'm smart enough to quickly get up to speed.

The other factor is that we want another baby and that's on hold too. Ideally I'd like to be working before I get pregnant so I have full maternity rights again next time. However, it took so long last time and I'm not getting any younger so I don't want to wait too long to start trying.

Mother's day

So far it's been a disappointment. I was looking forward to my first mother's day and hoping that S would step up and do something. Even just buy me a card. Stupid really since Valentines day consists of him turning up with a card and flowers sheepishly at some point during the day. There is absolutely no forethought and he did know it's mother's day (because his mum told him).

So, so far not even one happy mother's day, I did get a lie in but that's because he did yesterday and standard for our weekends. Then I spent the morning writing job applications and cleaning the kitchen. He's just taken baby T out for a walk to try and get him to take a nap so I guess he'll probably come back with some flowers. I'll try and look pleased but quite frankly it seems a bit pointless this late in the day (it's 3.30pm) and I'd have been happier with just a card if I got it this morning.

Oh well, rant over and I know I'm lucky that I am a mother this year and blah de blah but it would have been nice to have been spoiled a little.

Oh and about the not posting for ages - if anyone is still reading, but I've been struggling lately and posting is just not happening. I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mum and I hate being unemployed so I've been feeling pretty low.